did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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