honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
