I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
