We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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