I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
