i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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