i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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