i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
