Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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