there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
