a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
