Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
