i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
