Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
