I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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