Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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