I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
