The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize