I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
