I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
