u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm just crazy horny about you
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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