I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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