remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize