You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize