Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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