Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just tell him i said nine months
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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