just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
