If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
