Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I supernannyed him into submission
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