Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
