She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
