dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
