I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
