I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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