my sisters under your porch take her home
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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