i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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