SEEEEXXX PLEASE
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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