I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize