I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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