So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't turn off my feet"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
