i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
