Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize