She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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