i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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