I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
