gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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