Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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