All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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