The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
