the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
