I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Rumble strips road head = magical
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
