You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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