i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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