Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
