Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize