Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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