We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think my moral compass just broke
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